Life with Baby K

May 12, 2008

I don’t want your nasty cake anyways!

Filed under: family,IF ignorance,IVF #1,Mother's Day — by Jess @ 2:00 am
Tags: , , ,

So Mother’s Day pretty much sucked. Big surprise, I know. I really thought I would be okay since I would be a work and would be busy. Yeah, I kinda forgot about visiting hours and the fact that mobs of children and families would be coming in to visit patients and celebrate Mother’s Day. Because I work on the psychiatry floor our visiting hours are much more limited that they are in the main hospital, since we have group sessions occurring throughout the day. Today visiting hours were 12:30-2:30. So my morning was okay. A few questions were asked of me by the patients which sort of stung, but I was able to brush it off figuring that the patient wasn’t in a good place and the like. So when the patient asked me if I was a mother while I was taking his blood pressure and I told him, only to my dog and cats, and he looked right at me and said that pets didn’t make me a mom, I could force my bitterness down and continue taking his vitals without shoving the thermometer down his throat. However, I had a harder time letting things roll off my shoulders once visiting hours started.

It was maybe half way through visiting hours and I was surviving. But then an obnoxious woman came to the nurses station and announced that she had a cake she brought in from home. Then she loudly said that it was a cake for mothers only. She was very insistent on the mothers only part. In fact she said it four or five times in the 60 seconds she was standing at the nurses station. She looked at me and asked me if I was a mother. I told her no and she flipped her hand as if she was dismissing me and said “oh well you can’t have any cake then, its for mothers only” and she preceded to walk away with her ugly ass cake. It really was ugly too. It was a round chocolate cake which looked to be overcooked and therefore was crunchy looking on the edges. I know all of this because the pink frosting was such a thin layer that you could clearly see the cake. I wouldn’t have had any of her cake even if I was a mom and therefore allowed to partake in the magical cake. But in that instance of standing at the nurses station, being dismissed by this woman, I felt like I was teleported back in time to middle school. I was an awkward kid in middle school, even somewhat in high school. I had about two friends at school (not counting my friends from church youth group, thank God for that youth group or I may never have had any social life in school) I can remember being in 7th grade when my “friends” suddenly decided that I couldn’t be friends with them anymore. I was told that I needed to find a new place to sit at lunch and suddenly had no one to talk to in classes, or work with for group projects. I was dismissed in middle school from my friends. And today I felt the same way. I felt like I was being told that I was not cool enough or special enough to hang out with the cool kids. I wanted to take that cake and shove it in her face! Stupid ignorant people.

Yeah so next year if I am not pregnant or holding my newborn in my arms, I am hiding under my blanket and watching movies all day. Screw the world I don’t care!

**I did however pull myself out of my funk long enough to go to my in laws and my mom’s to wish them all a happy mother’s day. I am really grateful for my mom especially this year. I don’t think I would make it through all of this without her. **

*********************************************************
I forgot yesterday to write about our last SA. Jeff went down on Tuesday and did his thing and the nurse called me on Wednesday. Since my goal was to make his sample as bad as possible so the insurance company would cover ICSI, I made my poor husband go 5 days instead of the normal 2-3 days. Well wouldn’t you know that this was the best sample we have ever had. His morph was 5.5, his count was higher than before and his motility was awesome. Go freakin figure! So we are on for IVF but not ICSI. I think I am okay with this though because now I have two SA with higher morphs opposed to before when I had one higher and one lower and I had to guess which was the more accurate sample. So this is what we will do for now. Tonight was my second night of stims, it was much easier tonight than last night to mix all of the meds. So far I have not noticed any side effects, although it was hard to tell today if I was emotional and upset because of mothers day or because of the extra hormones. Probably a mix of the two. Oh and on a side note it is very amusing to look at my belly and see all of the little red puncture marks and the light purple bruises surrounding them. I feel like I am going to be able to play connect the dots on my belly when this is all done and over.

ETA: I just found this link on the IF community board I am a part of (dailystrength.com) and thought I would share it all with you. It is a beautiful story and validates everything I have been feeling: http://www.statesman.com/life/content/life/stories/other/05/10/0510raisingaustin.html

Advertisements

4 Comments »

  1. Geezzz! What a horrible woman! I may have not been able to hold my tongue. I commend you. People are so stupid.

    That’s freakin’ AWESOME about his SA! We did the insemination this morning, and AGAIN the SA was 1% normal (6th SA). I almost wonder if they do the 1% just to be nice – like they can’t rule out the possiblity for a few normal guys to be among the mutants.

    I have virtually NO needle marks after 6 days of stims. I had all 1/2 inch needles. Make sure you pinch your belly while doing it, and sometimes it helps to go in at an angle. I also alternated sides.

    Good luck with your u/s and b/w tomorrow 🙂 I’ll be reading.

    Comment by PJ — May 12, 2008 @ 2:59 pm |Reply

  2. Oh… by the way. I am usually NOT emotional, and the meds made me REALLY emotional. I was on GonalF, Low-dose HCG, and Ganirelix.

    Comment by PJ — May 12, 2008 @ 3:13 pm |Reply

  3. OMG! I totally know the kind of woman you had to deal with. How horrible for you. I am so sorry that happened.

    I do not know your story so I am going to go read your timeline. I’m so glad I found you!

    Comment by Alison — May 13, 2008 @ 6:04 pm |Reply

  4. that cake thing is out of control rude!

    My DH has had similar strange things- best SA with waiting 5 days. I found you on cyclasista, you are just a bid ahead of us, and doing ivf for the same reason.

    Comment by poppy.f.seed — May 14, 2008 @ 5:20 pm |Reply


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: