Life with Baby K

July 25, 2008

A letter to my friends

I just sent the following email to my friends and family. I felt like it would be the best way to let people know and to also to get people to pray for me. I am feeling very anxious right now. My last bloodwork was on Monday and my ultrasound isn’t until August 5. I feel like I have no idea what is going on in my uterus. Logically I know that everything is probably okay, but what if its not. I just want to enjoy this pregnancy and not spend the time freaking out. And once I have my ultrasound, I will be worried until the next milestone. I never thought that I would get a doppler but I think for my own sanity I may have to. At what point can someone start to use a doppler. I know its not until at least 12 weeks. How exactly does it work, anyone know?

Anyways, here is the email I sent out:

Hello Friends!!!
 
      This is an email I have wanted to write for a year and a half. Some of you are aware of the infertility struggle Jeff and I have been enduring since we got married in Oct of 2006. This has been a long, hard, emotionally draining process. We began trying to conceive shortly after our wedding and figured it wouldn’t be long before I was pregnant. However, things didn’t work out as we would have wished. During the summer of 2007 we began testing to determine if there was a medical reason we weren’t becoming pregnant. The testing indicated problems which required a specialist’s help. Unfortunately, the insurance company would only pay for the treatment after a year of trying on our own. So while we knew it was unlikely we would become pregnant on our own, we had to continue trying for another 6 months. Finally in January of 2008 Jeff and I went to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist in Springfield as Baystate Medical Center. It was there, after further testing, that we learned our only chance of having our own biological children was through In Vitro Fertilization. We began our first IVF cycle in April and May of 2008. Unfortunately, my body did not respond to the medications correctly and the cycle had to be canceled. So after the doctors at Baystate came up with a new medication protocol, we began again. This time my body responded beautifully and five days after retrieving my eggs, the doctor placed one beautiful embryo back inside of me. And I am beyond excited to share with you that I am currently five weeks pregnant!!!
        While I am nervous about sharing this with all of you, simply because it is still early in the pregnancy, I am doing to because I am in need of your prayers. This pregnancy was hard to come by and I am very anxious about it turning out okay. I go for my first ultrasound on August 5. I will be 6 weeks and 5 days pregnant by then. We should be able to see the baby’s heartbeat on the ultrasound that day. Right now that is what I am holding onto. Please pray for Jeff and I and our little baby. We have wanted this for so long and God has finally blessed us with this pregnancy. We all know the power of prayer and my newly forming family needs those prayers. Please pray for peace of mind for Jeff and I, that we would be able to relax and enjoy this pregnancy. We don’t want to spend the next 8 months in fear of things going wrong. We want to enjoy this experience as we prepare for the arrival of our baby. I will be sure to keep you updated as the pregnancy progresses.
        Thank you all so much for your friendships. Each of you are a huge part of my life and you all mean so much to me.
 
                  Love,
                    Jess (and little Baby K!!!)

May 19, 2008

No change….

Filed under: family,Friends,IVF #1,Nieces — by Jess @ 4:08 pm
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I went to the RE for my bloodwork and u/s this morning. I don’t yet know the estrodial level but there was no change in my ovaries over the weekend, nothing grew, everything looks the same. This is rather frustrating to me. So depending on what my bloodwork says, I think they are going to bump up my meds. The RN did say that sometimes the estrogen level has to get to a certain point and then suddenly the ovaries kick in and there is a huge growth. Its funny because last week I could really feel things going on in my ovaries. This weekend I didn’t feel much of anything but I just attributed it to how busy my weekend was and that I just didn’t notice. But apparently there really wasn’t anything going on this weekend….very annoying. I have certainly not given up hope or anything. They told me that people with PCOS are often slow responders, so I guess its not surprising that my ovaries seem to have stalled out. I would just hate to see this get turned into an IUI like poor PJ at http://infertilityonthebrain.blogspot.com/. Not that anyone at the RE’s office has said anything like that. I am just getting ahead of myself, as usual!

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I am so glad that I decided to push back my cycle a week so I would be free for this past weekend. Saturday was my friends Alicia and Craig got married. The ceremony was beautiful and the reception was a blast. I LOVE dancing at weddings and my husband loves to be the center of attention so it makes for a fun event for us. Yesterday was my niece’s first birthday party up at my BIL’s mom’s house. Any time I get to spend with those girls is always fun. And I had a good time hanging out with my sister. So without a doubt this past weekend was worth putting my cycle back a week!

Oh I have a cute story to tell you from the wedding. I had to do my shot while at the wedding. So my mom and I went into the bathroom and I pulled my three different needles out, my three little vials of meds, and my alcohol wipes out. A friend of mine from church and her 13 year old daughter came into the bathroom with us. Of course I have no shame so I continue what I was doing, mixing my meds and such. So the four of us are all talking and I looked up at my friend and laughed and told her that I wasn’t doing drugs. She laughed and said that she figured as much since my mom was standing right there. So I explain about the IVF and such. She told me about a friend she has who went through IVF. She said she would be praying for us and such. Then I went into the stall to actually give myself the shot and she and her daughter left the bathroom. Apparently after they left the bathroom her daughter looked at her and asked what it was that I was doing. She explained that I am trying to getting pregnant. Her daughter looked at her mom and said “with a needle?!?!” I thought that was so cute!!!

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Alright, I will check back in once I hear from the RE. Please keep us in your prayers that things work out for this cycle.

May 17, 2008

I’m a tortoise…

Filed under: Friends,IVF #1 — by Jess @ 2:14 am
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Today Sam at http://theclam.wordpress.com/ discussed how she feels like the tortoise in the tortoise and the hare story. Everything she said about her cycle echoed what I was told today. I went in today for bloodwork and ultrasound. My lining was 9mm and a triple layer (which I guess is good. I have to do more research on this) I have 3 8mm follicles on the left ovary and 1 8mm on the right. They said I had 10 on one side and 12 on the other. My estrodial level today was 175. The nurse Ellen told me she thinks I am going to be having a longer cycle. She says I have a lot of potential and since its my first exposure to these stimulating meds they want to move slowly to allow the follies to grow at the same pace as each other. She anticipates my ER being the end of next week. Tell me why as she was telling me to plan on ER at the end of next week, my first thought was “wooohooo I will get to skip work next weekend!!” Just goes to show you how little I want to deal with work right now.

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I have never been the kind of woman who can feel ovulation. Perhaps this is because it just wasn’t happening, I don’t know. My sister swears she knows what day her daughters implanted into her uterus because she says she felt it. Now I have always thought she was being over dramatic. But since starting all of these stims, I am unnaturally aware of my ovaries ALL the time. I feel twinges and weird sensations all the time. So strange, yet I think I kind of like it. Of course as the follicles get bigger, I am sure I will grow tired of it!

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Tomorrow is my friend Alicia’s wedding. I am so excited for her. I have known her since she was like 10 or 11. I thought I was going to start crying at the rehearsal tonight, I can’t even imagine what I will be like tomorrow. I am reading Ruth 1:16 during the ceremony. I am so honored to be a part of her wedding. Of course the interesting thing should be shooting up in the bathroom at the reception! Oh goodness, the things we do!!!

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Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes! I can’t even explain how much it means to have the support of so many awesome women. Much love to all of you!

April 23, 2008

The one thing I said I wouldn’t do…

Filed under: Friends,IVF #1,Nieces — by Jess @ 2:50 pm
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I just did the one thing I swore I wouldn’t do with this IVF cycle: I just pushed my cycle back a week. I was adamant about not doing that. I had decided that if I had to miss my friends wedding, than so be it. But last night I got an email from her asking me to do a reading during the ceremony. I couldn’t very well pass that up. But I wasn’t sure if there was anything I could do since I already started the lupron. So I called this morning and left a message for the IVF nurses. Ellen, the nurse who did my protocol class called back and I explained what had happened. She told me just to do an extra week of lupron to leave my ovaries in limbo a little longer and then I will start my stims the weekend of May 10th instead of May 3rd. While I didn’t want to push it back a week initially, I feel really good about this plan. Whats another week when I have already been waiting a year and a half!

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I meant to post the other day, Monday, the day that I began the lupron but I had a big A&P test on Tuesday so I was studying. Anyways it was an experience. I was really kind of freaked out about it. My mom came over to the apartment for moral support. Jeff was still at work and I needed to get the shot done and over with for my own sanity! So after a false start (there was more resistance to pushing the needle into my belly than I anticipated) I gave myself the shot and lo and behold, it wasn’t bad at all! Last night I gave myself my shot at work (the joys of working evenings during IVF) which went fine. I went to Walmart last week and bought a little insulated lunch bag and a ice pack to keep my meds refrigerated when I am at school and driving in the car and such.

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I spend Tuesday morning babysitting my nieces. Oh my gosh they crack me up! Nadia put her Elmo Easter basket on her head and was marching around her living room like a marching band member. And Sasha is so close to walking and its driving her nuts that she isn’t quite there. That kid gets so frustrated and mad when she can’t do something. But then when she does do it or gets to the item she wants, she gives the biggest smile with her four little teeth showing. Nadia is so smart for her age. She is saying three and four word sentences. She is just like my sister and Sasha is just like a little mini version of my brother in law. I can’t wait to give them a little cousin to play with!

Alright, I suppose I should go and be productive and study or something. Or maybe I will look online to find a pretty dress to wear to this wedding…

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